Each time I learn a little more about how our history is fabricated I can’t quite decide how to react. Upset at having been deceived? Amused at the strangeness of it? Horrified at the cruelty we have been subjected to? Grateful for having a chance to see beyond the lies?

This is worthy of a psychological treatise. The incredible sinking feeling when you know you have to live in this world but also know that so much of it has been fabricated in whole cloth from lies. So like Voltaire's Candide I go out and tend (literally) my own garden. It feels good --the earth, the sun, the fresh air. And then I look at the sky and wonder about what is being sprayed and if this beautiful paradise is being irreparably harmed. I turn back to tending the garden and pray for guidance. This psychological pain of deep distrust and fear of all that we know and live with -- how can I reckon with it? Naomi Wolf says we are on the last step of tyranny. It is not being done with a blast and a fury. It is almost invisible. It is very quiet. It is done an eye dropper full at a time. I go now to my garden. I throw this out to cyberspace, and ask us to think -- what now? As we go about our lives each tending our own gardens, what now, what do we do now?