Am trying to put into words the tension I feel right now (and hoping it gives some catharsis to others who recognise it).
On the one hand there is... never give up... fight for the children... we have come so far and are so near... I have put the work in so enjoy the upside... you were made for this... it's a privilege to experience and participate... you can help so many people... I know this ends well... the best is yet to come.
On the other hand is... I am traumatised... I feel betrayed by those close to me... the dues of Babylon are still arriving... the burden of injustice is so heavy... why are the honest made to hurt so much... everyday tasks seem to have become near impossible efforts... will this waiting ever end... I just want the pain to stop.
My resolution has been to take things a day at a time. When I fall over, rest a while, recover my strength, then carry on. Find the middle way between helpless/hopeless and Atlas Syndrome ("I will save the world — solo").
I look at it a little differently - the burden of justice (at least at the top levels) has been completed. I am so thankful it is happening in my lifetime and that it is all rolling out slowly - I absolutely do NOT want a civil war - in the US or in the UK or in Canada or anywhere. My great-great grandfather, Andrew Bain, was a Private in the Confederate Army in Alabama. He was wounded and died in a prisoner camp.
