I am feeling the long term stress of this war in my body. It’s like being emotionally waterboarded day after day. Betrayal by family and friends is the hardest part to deal with; unresolved injustice at the personsl level.
Am having to recalibrate my own internal expectations of what I can and should be able to accomplish. Self-care gets more critical. I am getting better at declining things that drain me.
OK, time to sell some XRP so I can pay my rent… ho hum. Am just glad to have a roof and means to live. I will be fine, I expect: have done enough to justify being given “a shed and fed”.
It's real. When it hit me, I could actually measure its effects with my wrist watch heart rate monitor. My resting h/r went to 42 for several weeks. I'm athletic but not THAT level of athletic... energy and drive went down along with the h/r.
Protect yourself: prune appointments (I loved your "De-Clocked" reference) and commitments. Operate only when/where YOU choose. When you're in command of your life (and not others) you'll start regaining your inner drive and passions.
If I note the time of year, the weather and your latitude up there I suspect some of it may be a seasonality-driven effect on you. I think you're doing all the right things to grapple with it, though.
It'll come back.
