Am feeling a bit melancholy. Have come through some struggles in the last 6 months that don't belong in public (and partly as it's not centred on me — privacy of others matters, even those who treat me poorly).
The phase of waking people up so they don't do crazy suicidal sh*t is over. Not quite sure where I am heading at the moment, or where to focus my energies. Missing London, but the place makes me nervous at the moment. Missing friends, but also want time on my own. Missing family, but lots of problems there best left unsaid.
Is the hard part over, or just beginning? I don't know. How do I fit in the world when it's woken up? I don't know. What's the right balance between everyday operational stuff vs big picture thinking? I don't know.
It's been a long war, with some way to go.
You are not alone in this place you find yourself. I believe this must be a part of the Great Awakening process that soooooo many of us are going through at this time and place.
These are the same wonderings I have myself. I don't know but I think this could actually be a good thing a part of the process. Lost, alone and everything that goes with that are signs that we are indeed leaving what was behind, letting go, moving into what will come, what will be, who we will be but not yet through the process.
I think we no longer have a foot in the old world but have not yet stepped into the new world. Or maybe one foot in each. Either way we would feel off balance, unsure lost. empty. Like being in limbo.
I think less is best right now. At least it seems that way for me.
Thanks for sharing. I feel less alone. I hope this helps you and others as well.
