I have worked hard for a righteous cause, and am proud of what I have done. That said, the looming possibility of epic vindication is surprisingly bittersweet. I don't relish public attention, am allergic to institutional life, and am even a bit ambivalent about the changed world to come (if I am candid). When I go to rallies or patriot events people recognise me and know my name, which is surreal to me given only a few years ago I was fighting to drag an obscure branch of network performance algebra to the attention of a tiny relevant audience. I breathe and bleed like everyone else, and very few people have access to the totality of my world with all its struggles and madnesses. I can see how public personas are skewed and often idealised impressions. So I feel oddly sad that the period of being insulted and ridiculed may be coming to an end… but all life is change, no?