This war is a constant balancing act between maintaining your own inner resources (and not getting dangerously depleted) and performing in the world (fighting the good fight). In a way this is absolutely ordinary, but the divergence of social realities means it is extremely difficult in practise. We face abysmal behaviour by many who are close to us, and have to spend enormous energy staying engaged in non-optional but draining relationships and situations. Our coping strategies have costs that come due, and responsibilities we kick down the road insistently return. I find a numbness creeping over me as the emotional battering takes a toll. Nonetheless, an unceasing vision of victory and a better future motivates a return to form no matter how far I feel I have fallen. There is always just enough progress to sustain hope and prevent sinking into self-pity. The shoots of freedom are breaking above the ground; our hard work promises a harvest of justice, hungry as we are for resolution.
Sending a virtual hug today (no germs) . . . I have been so sick and today felt such a feeling of hope from the love I am being showered with. I let myself get too run down and got sick from going to my first wake of a vaccine victim. I was in a small room loaded with spike proteins. I am holding onto hope praying that we are getting closer to some justice and disclosure. I can't wait for all of our loved ones to be on the same page. Stay healthy Martin. Whatever is floating around out here is no fun and it takes forever to go away.
