I finally had a really good night sleep and even had a couple of very nice dreams - which has not happened in months.  So I woke up feeling great - did my usual intention work - then matrix came in.

I don't like advice but I have reached a space today where I want a Godly/Divine Being to enter my life and literally tell me what to do next.  Because I absolutely CAN NOT continue my experience the way it is.

Apparently, my site was giving some of you issues last night.  It seems to be fine now.  I could fix the issues - but as I have recently shared here - that would require me to pay several hundred dollars more per month which would enable me to fix the issues.

I'm just at a breaking point today and as what seems to happen - which is bizarre - when I really need someone to talk to - texts go unanswered and when I phone up people, I get voice mails. 

And the demonic entity I live with was horrible again - and god forbid I show frustration over an unwanted issue that cropped up - that I DEALT WITH and he proceeds to attack me and play victim.

I am so careful how I talk about this - but I really don't think I care much anymore how I sound or what I say.  Why do ya'll think I, as he puts it, "throw tirades and beg for money" on here?  BECAUSE MONEY IS MY RELIEF FROM THIS SITUATION.

And I am close to being crippled with PTSD due to trauma - and even though my income here and other sources is decent and under normal living situations would be enough to support myself - well - you can see my dilemma - which yes is why I ask "if you come here and have an income you can please pay me $5/month in exchange for my work".

I

AM

D E S P E R A T E

and feel I am fighting for my life here to keep going.