I have a personal dilemma. I am sat on an invite to be a speaker at an event next year. It involves sharing the stage with other "notables" of the truth and freedom movement.
Part of me has wanted to just become a "digital recluse" and stay away from all public speaking. I am moderately traumatised from the last few years and the nonstop stress involved, and some days I feel paralysingly anxious and low energy as a result. Having a commitment to appear in public looms over me, especially as the time gets near. I don't relish the attention of the masses, or endless correspondence. It's not ideal for my health.
That said, I used to do this kind of presenting for a living, and I am fairly good at it, too. Part of me says go fight the good fight, even if you are a wounded warrior. I kind of played for all the intellectual chips with Q — and won. I have something to say, and a story to tell, which people need to hear. I am not responsible for the others I share a stage with.
If you have a story to tell, I am sure most of us, with some of the same symptoms as you, would greatly appreciate your courage in going the distance for all of us. All of your postings have great encouragement! Please don't let what they have inflicted upon us stop you from encouraging others. God has a job for all of us and my personal feelings are... IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE WILL LEAD YOU THRU IT. I trust that he has some people just waiting for his words that will be spoken thru you. BE HIS VESSEL! After prayer of course!