MAGA Patriot whose life has been turned upside down in recent days. The support and kindness I get here is incredible. Thanks, frens.

I haven't posted anything on AU for months. Anyone else feeling depressed and despondent? I'm interested in the point a person reaches when they lose hope and it no longer seems worth it to go on living. im at that point now and have the means to be out of here in about an hour.
What spiritual consequences are there for people who take their lives? That's really all that's holding me back.

I have fought this same battle time and time again and do more than not. I lost my BFF...my dog 3 months ago and I was so ready to die....i had no purpose to live anymore. Still struggle with that. I will never get over losing her so that battle of living will go on inside me for the rest of my life. For some damn reason, I havent pulled the trigger. People want to accuse you of being selfish if you kill yourself. I dont think that way at all. The misery is what you dont want to deal with and they shouldnt either. NOW with that said...that doesnt mean pull the trigger..it just means..try to find a different place in your mind...and TRY HARD to find some sort of purpose. I have not found mine yet but I am looking. I even gave up talking to God. He took my best friend. WHY? The only thing that got me up everyday. Now I feel like I am just going through the motions of life...until.......cont in comments..

In response David Treciak to his Publication

Only people mentioned by @Phantomvirus2020 in this post can reply

MAGA Patriot whose life has been turned upside down in recent days. The support and kindness I get here is incredible. Thanks, frens.

In response Phantom Virus2020 to her Publication

im glad you wrote and hope you feel stronger soon. Take care.

MAGA Patriot whose life has been turned upside down in recent days. The support and kindness I get here is incredible. Thanks, frens.

In response Phantom Virus2020 to her Publication

im sorry you lost you friend. i think about how I'll feel when Lulu passes and it frightens me. i depend on her unconditional love so much. And she always seems tuned into my thoughts. How many humans can you say that about? I know it's hard but think of him still with you and try to find another pup to spend time with.
Things just keep getting worse for me. I'm addicted to opiods because I need knee replacement surgery from arthritis and I have severe arthritis in both shoulders. Excruciating pain all day every day. On top of that, ive lost all but 3 of my top teeth due to bad dentists. so eating is a miserable experience too. Tonight i went to the casino to get my mind off things. i hut a light post in a parking lot and dented the bumper. I drive a rental car and but it's overdue by a month, so basically a stolen car. i it a letter saying to return it but now i have damage to fix. Then i lost over $1000 tonight. This might be a message from somewhere to give up. Im almost 70.

Q, patriot, holistic healer for humans and dogs. Certified in dogs. I'll speak my mind no matter what. Be nice or get lost.

In response David Treciak to his Publication

David as for your dog i get it completely. Me and my girl was so close. We were connected. I knew what she was thinking all the time. I have never ever loved an animal like i loved her. She was my true love on 4 legs. It has devastated me horribly. And yep..against me really wanting to get another dog,...my daughter talked me into another dog. I kept saying..i dont want another dog. well due to the dogs situation, it was just good to help her. SO for 2 weeks i have a wild young crazy..never lived in a house dog...and she is a ton of work. no manners, all over the place..chewing and digging...SCREAM but shes growing on me. by the time she is old..i will be over your age as well. she might be one of if not the last dog i get. i do have two other dogs and both are seniors and both are not doing so well. One may have cancer. I take her back for a sonogram to see if they can find whats going on with her. shes not breathing well and had a fainting spell. ---> continued

In response David Treciak to his Publication

Reading about how much pain you suffer makes me upset because doctors are supposed to find the cause of the pain and then remedy it.
That was the way it was supposed to have been, but they don't do what they're supposed to do.
For me, I refuse to give up because my thinking is that I will be damned if I give them that satisfaction.
I hope I can live up to this, because, yeah, the pain gets to be unbearable at times.
Still, may they be damned instead of me.
We must survive. May God please help us!
Show us your tenderloving kindness.

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Q, patriot, holistic healer for humans and dogs. Certified in dogs. I'll speak my mind no matter what. Be nice or get lost.

In response Phantom Virus2020 to her Publication

if you ever need to talk and be miserable with me..I am here... I honestly will talk you out of doing anything to harm yourself. I guess its the will to survive at this point. I honestly dont know why i am here....