I can identify with the trees. plants, grass, flowers, and birds around me. That’s real. But the society I notionally inhabit feels fake and distant. I can relate to some of the people, some of the time. But sanity is spending most of my time alone. Parts of the general order feel bizarre and foreign. It all has to unravel before we can rebuild something that is “spiritually legible”. Let the days pass and moods flow by; I am not the architect of this change, so no need to rush anything.

I am outside every day regardless of the weather (by choice, not a job).

Yesterday a millennial aged neighbor came over to talk to me. She said that this year has been weird with weather, pants, and trees and she felt uncomfortable because she said she sees something wrong, but does not understand what it is, and what did I think. She is worried because her mango tree usually bears good fruit, but now in August the fruit is tiny, green, and will not ripen. And her avocado tree will not bear fruit.

I told her I lost a 12 year old lemon tree, and a mango tree, and my garden completely failed this year (first time ever), and I could not get any tomatoes or even peppers. The only thing in the garden that did not die are some herbs that are doing well. And my organic avocado trees had fruit, but it was about 1/5 of what I got last year, and none are ripening on the tree (it takes 2 weeks now to ripen in the house).

Yes, it is weird. My other neighbors lost fruit trees left and rig