Every time I fall in this war, there is that choice: wallow in the muck and wish it was a war with bullets so someone might take you out, or to stagger forward with whatever is left on you after the spiritual attack. It is the thought that the enemy wants me to exit the stage is the most powerful motivator… that’s the stubborn Taurean in me. The weakest times are when I feel disconnected from purpose, my family, and connection. Actual attacks by the other side, like deplatforming, suck energy yet invoke a fight back response. The harder battle is with your own inner demons and self-destructive leanings. Maybe I get to tell the whole story someday. There is plenty to regret and be humbled by. I can confirm that very imperfect people are called into this battle in perfect ways.
I agree that AU is a jewel beyond price...
"re-experiencing" does suck, is part of PTSD, the KING, of Anxiety Disorders, but even Phobias & Panic Disorders hv people AVOIDING things, in futile hopes of DODGING re-experiencing the loathsome g'mish, which, alas, is ALREADY imprinted in one's memory, w/ SHORTCUTS + '!!!', d/t neurotransmitters like GLUTAMATE frying some circuits to "ALL or NOTHING" status. [How many have buds w/ "10,000 mi. stares"?].
MANY fool around w/ SEDATIVES, but the BODY REFUSES 2B fooled: the🌎IS a DANGEROUS PLACE!
? some BIBLIO-RX as LAUNCHING POINT???
"DBT" is best psychorx: READ⬆️ on it, try it...
SELIGMAN, Ph.D wrt "learned helplessness" p WW2, I 🥰his stuff.
Henri Nouwen, "With Open Hands".
Solzhenitsyn. "Cancer Ward"
Dostoyevsky. "The Idiot"
Portia Nelson: "Autobiography in 5 Chapters"
(poem) "Love After Love" (? author)
