I am genuinely not well and finding it hard to work right now. It frustrates my inner warrior, who wants to battle, but simply cannot. Just have to rest and recuperate. Have managed about an hour at the laptop today before feeling wiped out. Cumulative stress of battle has done me in. Lack of bullets and bombs easily arms the self-critic who says there are no valid invisible wounds in an unseen war. Have to consciously override that internal narrative and reject the self-denigration. It’s OK to have fought myself into a messy mush. More honourable than those who didn’t enter the arena and remain unblemished.
I’ve been told that to heal, it must get worse before you see improvement.
Ever recall while working a normal job that when the weekend came or your day off you were just exhausted because all the stress you carried and pushed through to get the job done. The you had a break and got hit by the brick wall.
What if we’re at such a precipice of a turning point that the majority of the work is done and it’s just time to heal. Heal so we’re ready to heal others when it hits them. I’m shot in the dirt these days, I’m not a vocal keyboard or internet warrior, I’m an in person type...little by little hoping to get points across.
If what I said is true, it’s your turn to rest and heal. In the end, we can’t hardly operate when we’re in need of healing,
All the past lifetimes of trauma are being present at this time to heal. That is more immense than one lifetime’s trauma let alone what we’re all going through.
