Tonight's Moon.

I know this was posted quite a few days ago...
Just wanted to say, I love the moon a lot and I love that you share photos of the moon with us...Your camera is phenomenal...

It has always stumped me on how to take a proper photo of the moon. In person, it seems so near, but when I take a photo of it, it always seems so far away and tiny in comparison to what my eyes witness in person.

It would be like taking a photo of my favorite star in the sky or my favorite piece of physical art...I just can't seem to capture its essence quite right and my eyes seem to experience so so much more with seeing it in person...

The memory of the photograph is always nice thought...I could tell you of times when I was on the beach up at Lake Superior back in 2014 and we had that series of Blood Moons that year...It was probably June...

A whole beach was partaking in a spiritual experience (well for me I always say spiritual--for others, they do it as a way to get fucked up). To each their own I guess...but I do remember every memory of each experience fondly and I was never getting into trouble just in awe of what I experience in nature around me...

My favorite time is at night around water and the blood moon was a perfect time...Well, everything was kosher and bunch of us started howling at the moon (lol--okay we are a bunch of weirdos, but it was kinda just like embracing the moment and feeling the now space together as a great big tribe of people) some in the tribe have left and some stay...I have my main people, my favorite people and there were people there I didn't know...but it was still a fun experience...Anyways...(thought I would have to explain need to howl at the moon, but I also love spirit animals--like a wolf--they are cuties).

Well, toward the end of the experience, long after the moon was red and already yellow again...The water went from calm and tranquil...the winds picked up and the waves started to crash...

You know how in Moana--the ocean called her on an adventure to travel the waves and find her destiny--the heart of the sea or whatever it was she was after, to restore her home?? Well at the time she didn't know it was for that...She met the tattooed guy along the way and he was like ego man and had been responsible for things happening...hmm...okay, but then the crab boss was sitting on it...hey it's been a long time since I watched it...I am trying to go off of memory...

I hold so much information in my brain...that watching a movie for the 2nd + time is like experiencing it for the first time because I always discover something new...

Well back to the waves--About 3 of us determined that the waves were telling us to GTFO the beach...The next day...3 of us went on a journey to CALIFORNIA.

We had really no money to do so...I think less than $500...Hey and gas prices back then were wayyyyy worse then they are even today...I mean YES WE HAD THE WORLD WITH TRUMP IN OFFICE...but that is a side note and since I am no longer medicating my ADHD and going natural, I have to discipline myself to accomplish a story in some particular order...Okay...back to it...

Okay, so the three of us make this last minute trip plan and hop in the car...For some reason I was the one doing most of the driving while the lil whiny bitch boy sat in the seat claiming he was tired...when I give him the passenger seat...he'd sit on his phone the whole time and didn't sleep...

Well SINCE I WAS THE ONE IN CONTROL...AND IT WAS MY CAR....I decided I was going to do this drive from Superior/Duluth--without A MAP...I decided as long as I knew that I was heading west...I couldn't go wrong...Lol...we even made it to NEW MEXICO...wayyyyy out of the way...Yea...the lil bitch was pissed it took so long, IDG

So, in New Mexico, I discovered that cigarettes were really cheap down there. You could get a pack for like $2.50...I am NOT certain if that is the way it is now...it's nearly 9 years into the future at this point and I seem to remember a time where they were only like $4.50 a pack in Minnesota...Not too long after this experience, did I learn to roll my own and it is so much cheaper and there are not added chemicals like they have in commercialized cigarettes.

Well, we eventually made it to CA...but by the time we made it to Northern California in Humbolt County...we had NO GAS money left...lol we got to this house and the house had a teepee in the backyard and it was the coolest thing ever...they had a rack for hula hoops and inside the house they had like their own little art gallery of art they created together...it was cool ...I really loved this area too...I was used to SoCal where I grew up and Northern Cali was a slower pace, more chill...Kinda like Minneapolis vs Superior.

As an empath, I do enjoy the slower pace...It was a dream since my early 20's to live in Uptown Minneapolis and be close to everything...But back then, during this time...I was spending a lot of nights out at the gay bar (I am straight) with my friends...at least 3x a week...Heyy that is when I was single and didn't have to worry about men controlling my life and keeping me from friends...The only enemy we had was my grandmother who used to pull my phone records and call and harrass my friends to get me back home...I was of age and she didn't want me with friends because she KNEW I told all my friends that her husband molested me as a child...so she instantly hated them...

One time, my friend Kiley and I were on our way to St. Cloud from Princeton area and we were going to something they created called "Unprom"...we were literally adults who dressed up in formal attire and went to fancy restaurant to have fun with a huggge group of friends...Those were fun times...

When I was out with my friends on nights like these, my grandma would call and call and call and keep me on the phone...I had minimal time to spend with my friends...One night she got angry because I didn't answer my phone on her command and so Kiley said let me see your phone...I want to record the VM clip for you....

He said:
"I'm sorry Sherrae can't come to the phone right now, she's locked in my basement..."

Lol he was mocking her and she took him seriously...We both thought it was hilarious to hear her reaction and her cussing Kiley out on the other end...He hated her and she hated him...My friends essentially adopted me and we were together as often as possible...we were a family...Kiley and I used to record little music videos together and dress up...sing RENT songs and he'd produce the videos...

Well, I went back to my family and chose a man over them...so they said bye bye...They spent all this energy having me learn to love myself and I chose BAD DNA over them...I

Heyyyy and it's not like I regret anything...I just wish I would have trusted my soul family at the time when they said my ex husband Joe was a creep and they didn't want him around me...

The thing about me is I don't like being told what to do by anyone...When I am told not to do something...it makes me challenge the situation and try to prove everyone wrong...Okay, so yea...shouldn't have played games here with my life and I should have known that my friends had my best interest in mind...We were inseparable...we were family...We were GREAT...heyyyy but they also used me too...let's get real here...they are mad because I was not single anymore and Raea/Sherrae more fun single because she isn't putting a man above them...Heyyyy that's not fair either...Yes they were right about him...but it's not fair to walk away because I'm not single anymore...they didn't try to know him...they were just like NOPE. Hey...and that's cool too...Now, I have the NOPES for my friends too....LOL.

But do I regret choosing love over friends...No, I don't--I don't want to marry and spend the rest of my life with my friends...I want them to have thier own lives and I have my own life and we get together to have fun and laugh till we cry...In the ideal world...everyone would have found their somebody and it would be like a couples retreat when we did have time to get together....

People who make life just about friends and living for the weekend or the party...are not going to experience the purpose and they are going to miss out on many many awesome opportunities if they hold themselves back...So no, I don't regret my choices...I took a chance...it failed...move on...It's not my fault that a lot of men suck and use women and treat them like dirt...Men also need to take accountability and the friends do too...

This isn't a control Sherrae till she fears everything by the end sort of story...I won't allow ANYONE to control me or my thoughts, dreams, and I WON'T settle for any1