You are not alone Joey. My immediate family is struggling so much to keep it all together but my family of origin seems so far away emotionally. It even hurts to be around them because they truly feel like they are on a different planet and I struggle to reconnect. I think my line will always be what I heard my dying father say to someone unseen. He kept saying that he didn't understand. That is me, I will never understand the whole purpose of why we were given people to love & care for & then the loss of them no matter whether we lose them to death or a situation like the one we are living. Why do we need to experience the pain of loss to celebrate the feeling of connection and unity in spirit? It seems so cruel to have even a dog that fills us with the unconditional love of GOD & then have to suffer that pain of loss. I pray for an end to this struggle. To say that the BEST is yet to Come & then wait for 6 years while everyone else is enjoying the last 6 years is difficult at best.