I have put a Promethean effort into intellectual deconstruction of Q vs MSM. Now realise that I lacked necessary spiritual foundations and care/support/guidance. You seek balance, but body cannot provide it, no matter how excessive the endeavours; just unbalances you more. Had to overcome a lot of programming and allergic reactions to let myself “look up”. Resolves the extreme alienation I was feeling with the world; need a unifying container to reconcile my own crazies with world big crazies. High price to “get it”, but only in worldly terms. Can see the path at long last. Not about abandoning mind and body pleasures but only doing it in ways aligned to the holy. If I find myself back on Twitter soon then my purpose and message is very different to the one I left behind, barring art and beauty.
I love you Martin. God be with you!