Part of me feels normal and fully functional. Another part is unwell and traumatised from (attempted) mass murder via psychological warfare and seeing so many friends and family succumb.

Any kind of interaction with authorities that took part is laden with dread. Silly simple admin stuff has me completely frozen. I stuck myself out there on behalf of this plan to save humanity, no regrets, can still see it unfolding. The silent and invisible weapons deny you the obvious bleeding wounds, so there is a secondary effect of belittling the actuality of getting injured.

Some of the usual supports one might turn to (priests, therapists, coaches) will harm you by being brainwashed themselves. Self-medication of the soul pain (alcohol, drugs, pharma) never goes well, makes it worse even, and that’s experience talking.

Relief that lasts is through having witnesses to the suffering (like AU and close frens) who themselves connect to the divine. Although maybe a pet helps… not tried it!

You are not alone Martin.
Not an easer journey to stand in light battling, exposing an inherently corrupt dark human trafficking system.
Dark forces are fighting for their lives as well, darkness is being brought to the surface.

The journey with self is real and most certainly can be painful.
Not many will stand next to others when the going gets tough cracking at the system of human trafficking.
Many will fold, run, take up as a coward, so much on the line.
Example who really values our rights as LAW and is doing something about this.
Even on AU there really is not many that seem to care about LAW and how to defend the rights of themselves as well as others, rather filling moments begging for assistance, starving still for a hive mind, wanting to feel connected makes sense and can feel good, though who really stands up for our rights with proper process, Dues Process of LAW?
England Common LAW is perhaps a little different than United States of America.