I am making a big change in my life, for the better. It is not an easy one. The details are appropriately private, but it’s fairly ordinary human failure. It means letting go of unholy comforts and escapes, and allowing higher powers to carry me through the troughs of loneliness, fatigue, and occasional despair.
This is much harder than past challenges like getting into Oxford or writing about Q while being libelled in the national press. I have come to understand, via persistent fault, that there cannot be mind and body solutions to spiritual problems. The holy spirit is a thing, and I have ignored it to my cost.
I simply cannot write about righteousness and spirituality without putting my own house in order. I am all out of excuses. Hypocrisy disgusts me, and there is only so much “field research” you need to do to learn about the enemy’s ways of dulling the pain of trauma they inflict.
AU folk “get it” without the religious zealatory. Not grandstanding my woes, just real.
You know that we all love an appreciate you here Martin, you know the God given talents you poses.
They were given to you for a reason, you are here for a reason.
Nana most certainly will pray for you success in what ever path you take.
All I would offer is that as for the loneliness, I know it is hard to grasp at times, but it is possible to move past is when we figure out that it really isn't another person, no matter how much we love them, that makes us truly happy, it really is the inner peace with our soul & God. That was also one of Nana's life lessons this time.
The other thing I would offer, and not from a religious standpoint because I have really never relied much on the Bible, is that I lived through the most painful darkest life event imho that a soul can suffer, & came out on the other side to regain my joy.
The ONLY thing that brought me thro it was my constant, daily connection& talks with God.Not God the old man with a beard but my Creator & best fren.
