Half of a lifetime of betrayal and isolation compounded by an already painful reality is very difficult to forgive, especially when COVID's invariable insight showed that the betrayal had no red line, which is to say that it was mortal.

Perhaps some healing will be acheived by the opportunity to help and be useful after all these years of being perceived as useless.

It's actually painful to imagine because optimism only magnifies the pain of the disappointing return to Earth, time and time again.

Perhaps when the need for hope subsides, this too will bring some healing.

I'm not sure this will ever be a hard awakening though. I would love it to be, but optimism feels like a terminal seesaw with pain at the other side.