https://anxietycontrolcenter.com/stop-negative-thoughts-using-rubber-band-snap/ - while it seems like such a small thing to do, it really does work to keep one's head in a more positive space...keeping in mind no one person can 'fix' any other person (including your wife)...this is the thing we must all do for our own selves...with a little help from our 'frens' of course - hang in there.

This was the movie where I first heard about the 'snapping' technique👇🏻might be worth a watch...
https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5d4c6143e4b09e7297433246