Older & wiser. Have the scars to prove it.
Does anyone else have days where they just don’t want to be here anymore?
I am an unwell caregiver of unwell animals & unwell mom, am married to an unwell, obese alcoholic & every single relationship I have, the other parties are in varying degrees of Matrix comfortability.
My having awakened has changed my life đź’Żfrom the frying pan of the last 50 years into the fire of the last 6.
Having survived abuse, I recognize the symptoms that come with surviving…apathy, utter fatigue, your whole inner self becoming cryogenically preserved in the hopes the sun will come back out again…
I say all this, knowing the good things coming WITHOUT DOUBT. I am so drained, I cannot maintain my energy anymore. There has been more going out than has been coming in for far too long.
AoE-Happy Thanksgiving.
You have compelled me to open my 1st social media account here on AU. I had to, b/c I wanted to say to you how much your personal story pains me to hear, b/c I feel your posts,, & others on this site, have been a source of great joy through greater understanding. Your compilation of posts have been poignant, thought provoking, & even inspirational at times.
I have been visiting AU for @ least 4 years anonymously, & your posts are 1 of my favorite daily reads
They say God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Whether true-I do know, through him all things are possible.
It feels funny you telling you this, b/c I feel like I'm telling you that which you already know-but, it's through our most trying times that we need to reflect & meditate on God's love & pray to him from our hearts. Never give up. He has your hear for a reason-maybe, if only, being a flicker of light in a dark period for those of us who carry the burden of having our eyes opened.
Older & wiser. Have the scars to prove it.
🙏 Thank you for the encouragement!
God & Anons have been the only ones who understand what we have been living thru. Sometimes, I have shared too much I think, about living surrounded by Matrix faithful. Heavy stuff. Afterward I always feel the urge to delete these posts, but each time I leave them because I know many people have been pressed mightily & more severely & have not spoken up. There needs to be a record of the weight Anons carried. So I leave them up, warts & all.
