I was witness to four "living men and women" getting immersed into covenant yesterday, in spectacular style and surroundings. Am learning a lot about man's law vs God's law — and how the churches and courts are administering the "alive in body but dead in spirit". Have yet to cross this particular spiritual threshold myself, but getting closer. I am still recovering from a lot of religious abuse, and take a long time to make a safety case for any kind of rite of passage.
I’m sorry to hear you went through religious abuse.
I hope you will be able to come to the understanding that what you experienced came from flawed men and women who often get God wrong and make mistakes, some that are very grave, but that those mistakes are not of God Himself.
I pray you will find the joy of having a personal, surrendered, loving relationship with Jesus as your Lord and Savior. I pray that you will taste and experience His goodness, that you will be amazed by Him day after day, and that you will feel the joy of His love and His presence with you.
May the Lord bless you and keep you.