There are things I can say on AU that don't belong anywhere else.

It's been a long war, and its scope is beyond my comprehension; at the very minimum it's been nonstop existential blackmail for humanity. At my micro level, I am embroiled in multiple legal battles to push back against corruption and theft by the state. That said, I am traumatised by everything that's gone on. I can only deal with courts and criminals for so long. Mental health, anxiety attacks, ability to focus — psychological war comes with injuries that constrain you. My gift is sensitivity, but that's also my vulnerability.

I feel we are at the point where truth has to come out and in particular where debts have to be forgiven. It's not right to have to keep fighting in ways that could harm me, for lack of knowledge of what is coming and when. The taxes to war criminals, fake fines renamed "charges", fees for inalienable rights — they have to stop, and soon. Or some timeline communicated, so is bearable.

I am skimming a book about Van Gogh's letters this morning by W.H. Auden. I came across some passages where he (VG) is talking about a "bete noire" of his that he identifies as "the system of resignation" and he describes like a hydra and the more serpent heads you cut off, the more appear. I knew nothing about him but it seems he ministered to miners in France during some mine explosions and was involved with evangelism. That is how we get this amazing quote in the discussion of his bete noire: "But perhaps you do not know that in theology there exists a system of resignation with mortification as a side branch." It captures how I feel about "truths-seeking" right now.