I haven't posted anything on AU for months. Anyone else feeling depressed and despondent? I'm interested in the point a person reaches when they lose hope and it no longer seems worth it to go on living. im at that point now and have the means to be out of here in about an hour.
What spiritual consequences are there for people who take their lives? That's really all that's holding me back.

Hey David, how are you today? Just thinking about you and checking in.

I just got a chance to respond because I've been in the hospital having surgeries on my right hand for the past few weeks. I had a freak accident and suffered major nerve damage. Im home now after racking up over $300,000 in medical bills. Medicare will cover most of it, but I can't work anymore and am unable to pay rent this month.
It's been frustrating doing everything with only my left hand and the doctor said it will never fully recover. So things continue to go downhill. It's like the gods are trying to convince me to go ahead and end my life.
I have a few last ditch plans to avoid being homeless, but it will take a miracle for either to suceed. I'd try Go Fund Me, but i don't have much presence on social media.

As a 51 year old carpenter with a blown knee and numb fingers, who can not work...I feel your pain. Pray to God. It works...Do not ever give up sir. We are all one, and we will not desert you. You are loved by all of us here...do not give up.

Thank you! I love AU and everyone on it. It would be fantastic to throw a shindig when the movie's over so we could all meet each other and celebrate the rebirth of our nation. Like military soldiers, we digital soldiers have formed a special bond during our time in the trenches.
As for my current predicament, I realize that change is sometimes painful, always difficult, and many times necessary to get us where we need to be. But im a few months shy of 70 and not in any condition to survive being homeless and disabled in LA County. I barely survived it when I was young and healthy 25 years ago. At some point, living with constant pain wears away the will to survive. The added frustration of being limited by the loss of my right hand will almost certainly make suicide a no-brainer.
Unlike most, I have no family to consider. My brother and sister openly despise me and my two daughters haven't been in touch for over 20 years. My materialistic gf nags and belittles me constantly.