I did essentially the same university degree as Zuby and at the same place. We have a lot in common, and I like his commentary a lot. Hope we get to meet some day. I found this tweet on anxiety a bit odd: https://twitter.com/ZubyMusic/status/1682470211075682304?s=20
I definitely struggle with it, in a way I did not before the war. I have been exposed to too much trauma and am a sensitive soul. It's not a question of willpower or focus as such; I just get a freeze-up when I confront tasks and content that my soul doesn't want to be provoked by any more.
We are not all built the same. I have struggled to have a stable home of my own, stable relationships, stable mental health, stable income, stable lifestyle, stable career. It's been a wild ride, and I'm OK, but get jittery from all the change I have had to go through.
Zuby is lucky enough “not to understand it” IMHO.
What I want to know is why it is not okay for me to say certain things anymore (words are changing at breakneck speed sometimes - is word still a word?), yet some butt munch can tune in to a weakness and just hammer me with it and then try to feed off an old anxiety. If I say anything back, even with a lot of patience and a big delay, I am then trying to “change the subject”, “projecting”, “diverting”, etc.
Maybe the key will be to identify where the anxiety is being introduced and exploited in the first place. I think it is not sane that someone freaks out screaming over being misnomered, misgendered, or whatever (like a real freak out). That same person thinks I am a total phobe because I cannot tolerate what I see as peddlefile grooming behaviors.
I am that abused child from decades back, and now I do have a few battle scars, oh and a war to win. I will harness that anxiety and use it with a fury one day.
