VK warned that anons would end up with PTSD, and it seemed a bit overblown at the time. We're still not through all this, and I can feel that I have real heath problems with long term stress and anxiety. I have chronic injuries from repeated exposure to traumatic situations (esp family, kids at risk, and betrayals of trust, psychopathic encounters). I am not fully functioning any more; I lose focus, I freeze up, I can't even look at stuff that is visually distressing and involves phsyical harm. My ears are ringing. I wake up with all kinds of stuff racing around my head. Being around normies exhausts me very quickly. Being around the awake keeps stirring up my worries. Being alone is painful but lets me regulate my activity to my energy. The hard bit is not being up to doing much in terms of writing and photography. I can do bursts when I am in my better state. The costs of dealing with 2019/2020/2021 are all coming due. Non-linear war gives you non-conventional war wounds.
The simple act of sending an e-card to my Cousin for her birthday turned into a ‘thing’😳usually there is a notice that the card has been picked up, generally followed by a ‘thank you, that was sweet’…but none of that happened, just 2 days ago. I thought WOW, she has really written me off this time…so that’s that…I need not respond to her non response, bless and release again! But, after sleeping on it, trying to be ‘normal’, I sent her a text, wishing her a happy birthday, ‘sent you an e-card, did you receive it?’…and she had not…I resent it, she received it, sent me a ‘thank you, that was sweet’, and now we’re back to not speaking…this is truly exhausting…walking right beside you Martin and EVERYONE here…my solace has been making allot of pottery and swimming, extraordinarily grateful…as always, the sweetest of blessings to you Martin🐸🤗😇🙏🏻🌺😎
