Costs of this war for me:
- One lost career and associated time investment
- Failed business start-up
- Two major betrayals by those close to me
- One smaller broken boundary (but painful)
- Lots of estranged friends
- A great deal of family time foregone
- "Press" public reputation only just above axe murderer
- Low income, no savings, no pension
- A lot of psychological distress

Would do it all again without hesitation. The gains include self-worth and dignity, true loving relationships, participation in greatest endeavours, historic opportunities to be creative and apply gifts, personal growth, spiritual understanding, endless new knowledge, fabulous co-workers, new skills, crazy stories, ...

I never go to sleep with regrets or a sore conscience.

I can't even write my list. It's too painful. I'm trying my best today to not fall into a depression. Trying to convince myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Always praying for a quicker resolution to this mess because only then will my loved ones realize that everything I shared was truth. That's the hardest part, the impact on family relationships. Very painful. The worst is realizing that you are not spiritually connected to your spouse of 20+ years. That's no fun either. I would still make the same choice to live in truth and authenticity.