It would be nice to “restock” my inventory of understanding by spending time reading books and watching videos. I find it close to physically impossible right now. I am so burnt out from years of information processing overload and general war stress that such sustained focus for study is beyond me.
I find that I freeze up when I try to engage with ordinary tasks like sorting protest photos, like a horse that refuses to jump a high fence. Just want to stare out of the window and watch the clouds go by. Doing anything resembling a structured “job” is unthinkable. The wait for justice is weighty indeed.
The “fix” seems to be staying away from every negative influence and source of low vibes. No toxic people, no hard-edged cities, no dark media. Withdraw from the insanity, and stay in proximity to others who continue to work on themselves and seek solace in beauty.
I have been practicing this for quite a while now. I remember the amount of energy I had toward these things prior to the twitter purge and the stolen election. I remember the anticipation that we were so sure that something significant was going to happen over and over again, The lingering level of sureness in the air that we were going to witness a change that would lift our spirits to heights that had been unattainable in history.. The constant roller coaster of this anticipation and then disappointment took it's toll to a point that I felt as if I had been targeted psychologically. Now happiness in everyday life is found back at the root of spending less time wallowing in the redundancy of trying to sort out fact from fiction in an information war to spending as much time as possible with my family while occasionally peeking into the toxic energy draining cesspool of information warfare. It has made a difference in my energy level.
