I often reflect on the weird position I find myself in. I am a civilian, and yet somehow put myself near the (publicly visible) apex of the greatest military op ever. Nothing important depends on me, but everything depends on people like me standing up. I am not risking my life in a DUMB, yet I am in one of the most exposed forward positions — and a named target by the enemy in their propaganda. There's no real bravery, because all I did was stand and hold the line when my peers ran away; no advancing into live fire. Yet they still ran away, and I didn't. As one of the most prominent "QAnon conspiracy theorists" it's a wonder my family has held together at all, yet I have managed the agonising wait to keep myself together and just wait for events to take their course. For years I have known it's one for the history books, but never know when the war might end and the writing of the story begins. Endlessly paradoxical and contradictory experience.
I often wonder how the soldiers and population managed during the 100 years war.
Imagine, 3 generations knowing nothing but war and conflict, never knowing if it would end.
I think, partly it is because the enemy, is not obvious.... until we hear them speak, or, observe their acts... until that decider, they appear just like us.
I recall years ago, when Lef Wilensky came to power in Poland, the 'Resist' theme was displayed by Polish folk wearing actual small electrical resistors, as badges.... wish we had somewhat similar.
But I am at a loss to think of a symbol for 'conspiracy factist'.
We endure, because, we can do nothing else - there are no other outs. We cannot return to sleep, we cannot walk away and pretend it does not exist, we cannot go back into the Matrix, like Cypher, because we are not capable of running away... it is not in our stubborn, ornery, awakened makeup to do that.
Press on, we all must press on.
