I cannot imagine how difficult it must be. We all went and are still going through something similar. That is why this place exists.
We are here for each other at the home base. No matter what.

A lot more will have to be given up to make it to the real finish line. After all, this same flesh that holds us is not our own, and will have to go with time, so it is only reasonable to lose a lot in the process.
"... the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord ".
Book of Job is the perfect example.

Keep your faith up and do not forget to give all praise to God, and know that we have your back.

WWG1WGA