When I struggle to focus and get work done I have to engage self-compassion; the anxiety comes from trauma, and I am not lazy or weak for experiencing it. Small administrative tasks (we're talking silly stuff like updating my credit card on an art website) can trip me up, as everything "administrative" is now hostile and provocative.
It feels pathetic, until you remember that "administration" has been enslaving us all and killing our loved ones. Silent weapons can leave you "self-gaslighting" as you deny your own invisible wounds.
When I feel a freeze response it can snowball, as I then worry about doing what needs to be done and earning a living. It is very hard for me to just accept I have done enough already and if I have to coast for a bit and just be looked after by supporters then that's not a failure.
A collapsed financial system would paradoxically make the economic side of all this much easier to deal with.
Martin, I feel this pain also and is the reason I stopped using my IPad and laptop. They lock you out, creating much difficulty trying to just open your own personal device. It's like applying for a financial loan just trying to open your own bought and paid for device! Pissed me off so much, I just stopped using them. And this same bs is with trying to order anything online anymore. NO, I'm not applying for a loan, just trying to shop!
I'll wait until the swamp is DEAD!!!
I'll wait for our new Starlink and phones, utilizing clean energy and efficiency!!!
Until then🙏🏻peace, love and joy in the smallest detail of my day✨🕊❤️🤗
