When I struggle to focus and get work done I have to engage self-compassion; the anxiety comes from trauma, and I am not lazy or weak for experiencing it. Small administrative tasks (we're talking silly stuff like updating my credit card on an art website) can trip me up, as everything "administrative" is now hostile and provocative.
It feels pathetic, until you remember that "administration" has been enslaving us all and killing our loved ones. Silent weapons can leave you "self-gaslighting" as you deny your own invisible wounds.
When I feel a freeze response it can snowball, as I then worry about doing what needs to be done and earning a living. It is very hard for me to just accept I have done enough already and if I have to coast for a bit and just be looked after by supporters then that's not a failure.
A collapsed financial system would paradoxically make the economic side of all this much easier to deal with.
Losing my job because of mandates and then not working for 15 months made me uneasy for a while. If I had really tried I could have got a job (not in my profession) Financially the universe provided. (otherwise known as welfare) so I allowed myself the downtime. When the time was right, the right job came along. (Although interesting that it is in the most 'woke' high school in the district - I am where I'm supposed to be I guess!) Fully charged but calm in my understanding of the situation. After spending most of 2020 in lockdown in Melbourne, My flatmate returned (Anti Q, Anti Trump, but unvaccinated) after a 15 year adventure in Australia she feels as if her life has just stopped. She's retired and lack of money is now holding her back. She finally realised that the last few years have been probably THE most significant analytic, psychological, consciousness awakening experience of her life! We need to be easier on ourselves - This is A LOT! My motto 'Just do what you can'
