It is interesting to me how little we discuss the fact that we are being psychologically tortured (both the asleep and the awake). The MKUltra "up is down, black is white" fake narrative is designed to demoralise, humiliate, and break you via submission. Those who submit then want others to fail, legitimising their weakness, cowardice, and foolishness. Your closest social and familial bonds get weaponised against you.

This forces you to protect yourself, and withdraw into a circle of those who are truly loving and caring, with self-care at its centre. The urge can be to become a recluse, neglect yourself in the hope of a uncontroversial demise, or engage in suicidally dangerous activities to get off the planet quickly. I suspect that acknowledging that we are being tortured and witnessing it for each other is figural to managing the pain and healing the trauma.

It is the betrayal by those who put children in the way of harm (for selfish goals) that hurts most.

I started to take into consideration that there aren't nearly as many "real" people as folks are told, & started looking into things like NPCs, clones, etc. & some things made a lot more sense

It's still a hard thing to swallow & deal with, though