Part of me feels normal and fully functional. Another part is unwell and traumatised from (attempted) mass murder via psychological warfare and seeing so many friends and family succumb.
Any kind of interaction with authorities that took part is laden with dread. Silly simple admin stuff has me completely frozen. I stuck myself out there on behalf of this plan to save humanity, no regrets, can still see it unfolding. The silent and invisible weapons deny you the obvious bleeding wounds, so there is a secondary effect of belittling the actuality of getting injured.
Some of the usual supports one might turn to (priests, therapists, coaches) will harm you by being brainwashed themselves. Self-medication of the soul pain (alcohol, drugs, pharma) never goes well, makes it worse even, and that’s experience talking.
Relief that lasts is through having witnesses to the suffering (like AU and close frens) who themselves connect to the divine. Although maybe a pet helps… not tried it!
It is emotionally and spiritually draining. That’s why God put forth his strongest warriors, you being a huge part of our strength too Martin.
Have you ever entertained Ayahuasca? A decades worth of inner healing can be accomplished in 6 hours. It’s not looking outside of oneself, rather a unbiased 3rd person view of traumas experienced. The healing and processing takes place internally. It is said that 7 lineages can be healed within each ceremony.
AU is a place we can go on our darkest days & not leave lifted up. The vibes are so contagious.
#WRWY
I did it once, all on my own. A difficult experience, although it takes away fear of death. If I was to do some healing paychedelics, better the softer end with shrooms.
