If any part of your life is shameful and secret, then you cannot be whole. This is the price of sin: our fracturing from a man into personas. My growth challenge is swapping regret for repentance. The smallest step down the path of accountability relieves you of guilt, although you have to keep going.
You can probably imagine the challenges of the urban gay scene as a place with endless opportunities for bad company and misadventure. I was just striking out in a saner direction when Covid hit and all benevolent venues shut. We all poison ourselves in some way, even if just sugar. Lockdowns were a gift to sickness.
It took one person, a dear friend and confidante, to show me true love… for me to be receptive to taking a higher path. Until you experience the higher vibe, you go round and round the same hunt for fake peace or temporary oblivion. I can’t judge the jabbed for foolish choices, having my own. I can only help to light the route away from self-destruction.
When I was in the 9th grade I began taking a Latin class. Our teacher was an older woman, of whom, we privately declared must have taught Julius Caesar, himself! She would often, appropriately respond to situations, "Confession is good for the soul, but at times, hard on the reputation."
After years of contemplating her statement, I knew the latter portion is only true for the small-minded observer, who undoubtedly has unconfessed guilt of his own..
Confession is the first step to wholeness. It is a pattern in the Scriptures-- Confess your sins one to another, and pray for one another that you may be healed, (Reference James 5:16)
