I have to remind myself that the people still paying me on Substack while I take a break need me to be well more than they need me to urgently write. The multiplying traumas of this war have inflicted real damage on me, to which I have added plenty of self-inflicted wounds. I would prefer to be visibly productive, but the work right now is to sever unhealthy places, relationships, and habits. Takes all I have got, and still feel wobbly.

Whatever my wastes and woes, humanity has had a pretty reasonable deal out of me for 5 years. What I have had to do is very abnormal, and there is a point where you degrade rather than develop from being stressed and stretched. Have plenty to say when the time is right. Need to stabilise myself and my living conditions before turning the creative output back on.

My crazy + world crazy = too much crazy.

Martin do you get to see/interact with people on a regular basis? I have found that when I am in my deepest darkest places in the last few years it's when I'm not getting interaction with other positive energies ❤️🙏 I resist a lot but I'm still forced to go to work and then sometimes I do get something good out of that- from just simple human beings (awake or not)
❤️People Need People ❤️

I fell badly when I isolated myself and a key supporter was temporarily cut off. Am learning to trust more people with my struggles. Letting go of one who was acting as an enabler.