I can confess to having driven myself a bit nuts by worrying about whether I can cope with seeing the anguish of the poisoned and betrayed. I never watch horror movies (even Lassie getting lost was upsetting), yet we live inside of one. Have been living “on edge” for several years, and sometimes fear does get the better of you. We are a very long way from the early awakening where you could still be intelectual and aloof, hoping for a swift resolution because you were clueless about the scale and scope of the problem. In the end, I simply have to be functional for the sake of my daughters, who will someday see that I was besmirched, and was the only one who fought to protect them. Them being put into enemy hands by the rest of the family and being made to watch has drained me. The adults who mocked and made poor choices get care if I have spare energy only.
In 2020 I was digging into things that still to this day have not seen anyone cover. It fooked me up big time. I can never look at the world the same again. I believe that my digging triggered a spiritual attack that shook me to my core. I had never been so distraught and suicidal in my life. It lasted from about October 2020 to about Summer of 2021. This evil attack on me triggered a defense mechanism and I deleted all of my social media accounts in Jan 2021. I lurked on Gab and AU to help me through some of it. Even though I did not have an account, AU helped me quite a bit. However, I am not sure if there are many that can truly relate to what I uncovered and went through. Ironically, this is the closest thing I have to an "anonymous" help group for therapeutic debriefing. When Q says "Have faith in Humanity", I find the statement quite humorous when I see how most of the population has responded (or not) to what is taking place in the world around them.
