The process of detachment - necessary to survive the emotional/spiritual attacks from those closest to my heart - has led me to a place of solitude and present moment awareness.

No longer do I plan for a personal future, create dreams, imagine my life here with family... I simply cannot see further anymore, nor do I seem to want to, nor do they seem to want me.

This has been replaced by a deeper feeling / pull... out, away, far, far away... where all this finally ends. I Am not the same as I was.

I feel sad letting go... of the life I held dear without the knowledge of what will replace the habit of those old dreams, of certain certainties I believed in that comforted....all been stripped away.

I have work to do along side with you all, but after we have fulfilled our calling, I feel I simply don't belong here/anywhere anymore.
Nothing fits.

You have found out who will stand by you, who to trust and who you can't, but yet you will try to still help out and still know when to bow out at the same time, does that make sense?