I guess i am just anxious. I am not good with the trusting people i know thing, so it is much harder to trust those i dont know. I am trying but some days it just seems we are not gonna get out of this mess. it is just so big of a mess. i will hold the line as asked but my heart is beating hard and fast and i am about to hit ptsd point. That point that says "oh shit i stayed too long, now there is no way out so prepare for the pain", it is what gave me ptsd, i trusted and then almost died.