It is what it is…a marathon of treading water in a sea of shit. My best days are when I don’t fight against it & just surrender to the fact that other than prayer there is no way to influence things out of my control. A lesson learned when I had an emergency breathing issue several years back. Had bronchitis for several days which more often than not involves my vocal chords most times & as much as I know to rest my voice people still will talk to me expecting my response. So, my husband comes in that evening, says something to me and I reply (frog incarnate) and I proceed to start coughing. I could tell it wasnt normal coughing from the get go, but mistakenly thought it was an asthma attack & asked my Husband to get my rarely used inhaler. By the time he got it to me I was non stop coughing, getting little air & feeling sick. Made my way to toilet & got on my hands and needs violently coughing not getting any air. I finally asked my husband to call our nephew, a paramedic.

He tells me if I am not getting enough air to call 911. My husband does but by the time they get there I am so oxygen depleted I’m in the fetal position at the toilet and they have to drag me out, semi conscious but still coughing. Didn’t even recognize my nephew. Got hauled to the ER, got my clothes cut off me, barely remember talk of a helo ride if they couldnt figure out what was wrong & get my heart rate down. Finally (I think the Dr gave it his best shot) & gave me a shot for severe allergic reaction I think it was. And the coughing gradually subsided. Days later I did some research and diagnosed myself. Vocal Chord Disfunction. Mine were so inflamed that talking and forcing air over them caused them to spasm and close shut everytime I inhaled/spoke this the coughing to try to disloge what my body thought was a blockage.