Every once in a while I'll say a few key-words that I think would grab [their] attention, then mid sentence I scream into my phone as loud as I can in hopes of blowing out anyone's eardrums that dares to spy on me.
I then proceed to taunt them, call them names, and tell them they should start looking for a new job and find Jesus.
It's the little things in life that matter to me the most. XD

omg, I'm dying...this is the best thing I've heard in a while :)