So Jeff Foxworthy leveled the playing field to be politically incorrect
1. If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but morally object to the use of liquor, You may be a Muslim.
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim
3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim
5. If you think vests come in two styles, Bullet-proof and suicide, You may be a Muslim.
6. If you can't think of anyone that you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim
7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses, other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim.
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, then you, too, may be a Muslim.