I am deeply struggling. I have never been one to attend church, but I have tried to seek God and pray. When I was young I used to read the Bible and my Bible is filled with highlights and underlines from my teenage years. I broke away from "church" and floundered through life avoiding church because I am too much of an introvert and I struggled with judgement from others. I recently began attending a very nice church and after our second attendance the pastor invited us for lunch, but I didn't realize until we got there that he was screening us. I wish he had given us more time to settle in, to just come to the service and listen, rather than bombard us with questions. It felt violating, and I never felt comfortable going back since then. I don't think the pastor approves of me, although he is polite out of his obligation. I decided after a recent situation that I no longer want to go back to that church. Church always makes me feeo too unworthy. I would prefer a home church.
I believe it is truly about your relationship with God and Jesus. Jesus did not agree with the religous of his times the pharasees and the sadusees. Jesus warned us about them.
13 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either.[e]