from Lin Wood super funny
Partial transcript from Xi - Bribes discussion:

Bribes: “I was in the United States Senate 120 years ago.”

Xi: “You don’t say.”

Bribes: “Over 50% of the Republicans in America support me.”

Xi: “Wow. Now that is impressive. Only about 30-40% support me. I am working to get my numbers up. What are you doing to increase yours?”

Bribes: “I am going to solve the gun issue by dealing with infrastructure.”

Xi: “Say what???”

Bribes: “Oh, never mind.”

Xi: “No worries. I don’t pay any attention to what you say anyway.”

Bribes: “Who is you?”

Xi: “Come on, man.”

Bribes: “What does that mean?”

Xi: “Come on, man, I will show you to the stairs. The meeting is over. I have learned all I need to know. Good luck.”