yep it's been very difficult! I had a top-secret clearance in the early 80s and found out what was really going on! Of course no one believed me! I dug deeper into the Bible and did a lot of praying! My number one prayer was that God would make all things known that he would reveal everything to his people! So it was time well spent and my prayer was answeredHe also told me to write a book "Living Life With Real Faith" which I published as kindle book on Amazon! We have an awesome GOD!