I grew up the same...very abusive house, drugs alcohol...no one around half the time...countess schools...No utlities. I'm an intorvert so I don't have friends. Never had much of a family to bother with. Just Mom and my bro, but don't talk to them. I learned a long time ago that No matter how bad it is, and it can be horrific at times...someone else always has it way worse! And seeing the human trafficking and kids taken and mutilatedby demons and people starving in other countries really changed my perception. I've always struggled but always remained annoyingling optimistic. I don't have much but am extremely grateful for every bit of it. I can see the beauty in the world and the beauty in us all...I hope it gets better for you!!! Remember YOU'RE a SURVIVOR, YOU'RE RESILIENT and STRONG! God made you in His image and you're loved. See His beauty in yourself!!! Change your Perception and you can Change your world!!! God can show you