Does anyone else dissect shit after it happens?

I have been slowly taking apart my emotions surrounding the disagreement with my SIL, discovering in part she was more right than she could imagine, but the cause is worlds away from the ‘diagnosis’ she gave me.

She said the 5 years I’ve invested have taken a toil on my mind…there isn’t one Anon who wouldn’t say they have suffered in varying degrees because of what we have known the last 5 years. She is right about that.
✅ Mentality suffering the last 5 years.
She says rather than reassess, I double down. Well…she’s right again.
✅ Dumbass doubles down.
She believes Q was devised to classify the psyches of citizens who latched onto it. I believe it is the most brilliant Military plan ever enacted. My belief alone, I’ve discovered is not the burning goad that presses me on.

Continued in comments.

I caught a glimpse of this inside me, maybe a year or two ago, like something submerged rising to just below the surface for a second, and then whether subconsciously or intentionally I don’t know, it promptly descended again. But this time I got a clear look at the 11 or 12 yr old girl that has given me no peace in relation to trying to red pill & wake up family/ friends. She has demanded I try to give people information that in hind sight most will only appreciate, but that doesn’t give her a reason to give me any slack, on the contrary…she reasons that I know something they don’t & I need to help them understand it so they don’t make decisions they will regret…she cracks the whip & I double down.

I grabbed ahold of that child this time before she could disappear. What to do with her???I’ve consoled her. Told her I know everyone (except her Grandmother, who gave an explicit warning before she died to my mother) let her down & that I won’t, but she has to understand, that unlike her, adults don’t often want to be saved in advance of crashing into an iceberg… there are parties going on onboard or either one is too busy working in the bowls of humanity to notice danger is imminent & in the end, all the red pilling in the world does no one any benefit, but causes a great deal of wear & tear on her much older self. And that unfortunately children are either under protective, watchful eyes of parents or they are not, & that children have little power to protect themselves from the errors in judgment of their guardians.