thank you.. he will get there. slow work. we openly talk about it but cannot see it. engineers mind. one of these days its gonna hit him hard.. i am ready tho. we have even talked about that part.. we even talk about why he is witholding back to opening up.. he doesnt know why. its deep. i have my intuition telling me there is something. no judgement and feel he was a victim in some way deep inside. he just stares at me like a deer into headlights. what he wants to accept he will otherwise? nope. just to keep the peace. why i never left him for it. its ot his fault and he allowed me to grow all these years instead of trying to control me in any way,, btw his sister has the same wall.. not sure what it was but they share it.. she wont talk to me. i will be there for her. she thinks going to church saves her.. i get a bad feeling about her church because of its pastor..