If you made the choice you can't blame anyone for your experiences. Perhaps your experiences allowed you to grow and to find the truth. That you were put here or more poignantly you volunteered to come here for a mission. You are here for such a time as this. We must remember something. Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime to remember. Sometimes I can relate to John Coffee, "I am tired boss." I can tell you something I have learned. If you are being attacked it is not random but you shouldn't take it personally. Well anyway, that is the conundrum.