It is the tests that come back 'normal', while you KNOW it and just feel the changes in your body. The clots, the graphene microblades that sever veins, the spines that adhere like Velcro to tissues and organs.

It is the shortness of breath and the palpitations at the slightest effort that doctors cannot explain...

It's the 'knowing' that it was for nothing, even though we believed at the time that it was with the best intentions.

It is this tattoo on my arm of the vx batch numbers that I use to open conversations and share my side effects with every doctor I encounter.

It's knowing that every second... every second... the breath I take could be my last before I die.

It's sadness... deeply empty, heartbreaking sadness for all my family and friends, all those I love and care for.

It's loss... the loss of my future dreams and plans, the loss of my husband and family... it's the pain felt from the name-calling and constant hate online.

Anonymous