Older & wiser. Have the scars to prove it.
Trying to unplug this evening & watched the movie Dog. Recommend it. Afterwords, PRIME advertisement for The Sound of Freedom came up. Clicked it to watch, but 5 minutes in, as the Dad is on the bus going back to pick up his kids, I turned it off. My gut told me they would not be waiting for him.
Made it all thru adulthood by burying shitso deep it never saw the light of day. I was hollow, but I functioned. The last 3 years have eroded close to 50 years from me. It’s really not fair. There is no one in my life interested in pulling out the broken shards of an 11 year old girl, so I need them to stay buried.
Capeesh?
How are survivors supposed to take another year or two of this? I am raw as I have been in 35 years.
🥺
Writing 3 pages every morning upon awakening, whatever comes into your head and before you go about your day. You can shred them afterwards. The discipline of writing helps rewire the brain. Julia Cameron explains the process in her book The Artist's Way. I read that years before I heard of a similar technique in Cathy O'Brien's work. It has saved me many a time. Nobody reads it. Anything at all that comes in your mind, just write it out (not typing or using a keyboard). It is the one thing you can always do. If you were in recovery for alcohol or drugs, they would also recommend you start your day with a daily reflection or prayer and meditation. Those have worked for many people I know, but I always do the morning pages first.
